I have found myself in a sort of decision-making purgatory. I am faced not with a win-win scenario nor a lose-lose. With your input, maybe we can all come to a “win-win-WIN” resolution.
I have a choice. Without boring you with my life story, here it is in short: I am graduating in a few short weeks, and I have an open invitation (and an open bedroom) to move to Portland, OR. I can accept that offer, or I can stay in the greater Chicago, IL area. There are obviously tons of variables and factors that should (and have) been considered, but there is one major aspect of the decision that I can’t warp my head around and be comfortable with: leaving my ultimate community. My ultimate family.
Home is where your disc is.
-a terrible almost title for this blog post.
Okay, I’m going to give you a little bit of my life story for some context on the scenario. I only started playing organized, collegiate ultimate in September of 2013. My physical, mental, and (most relevantly) social growth has been tremendous, and through my Northern Illinois teammates and some other friends, I’ve created and been invited into an amazing community of people that I probably consider most important and pertinent in my life right now. Community and socializing are one of the biggest upsides and draws to Ultimate, in my eyes.
So the pressing issue here is that if I take this opportunity to move to an amazing new place with two of my best friends, how massive/good/bad of a change will it be concerning my ultimate community (let alone my development and involvement as a player)? There are obvious upsides and downsides. Let’s take a look at both.
Downside: I’m leaving everybody I know in the Ultimate community.
I have one friend/peer that attends class/plays Ultimate for Oregon/Fugue. That is the singular person in ultimate I will know within a two-thousand mile radius. My college teammates, my pick-up friends, my personal Ultimate role-models, my favorite club team players; I am leaving all of them behind me. I won’t have anyone to call for some throwing around or pickup. I won’t have anyone who knows me and my playstyle. I won’t have any Ultimate friends to hang out and talk disc/have drinks with. There are people within the community that could help me get onto my first club team next season in Chicago.
This is my first group of Ultimate friends I’ve ever had. It’s a relationship I haven’t had from anywhere/anyone else in my life. I love these people. And the funny thing is, I haven’t even known them for that long! There’s no telling what they could help me accomplish on a personal/team level if I stayed for the next club season(s). There is a lot of Ultimate opportunity here for me.
The journey.
Upside: There is nothing but opportunity and potential for a great new Ultimate community in Portland.
There is a massive Ultimate community in Portland, Oregon, and neighboring Washington. The Midwest is kind of a dead-zone outside of Chicago and some of Wisconsin. In fact, in my actual hometown of DeKalb, there are no leagues, pickup, or anything outside of what me and a colleague have put together ourselves (we are just on the outside edge of the Chicago-land Ultimate community). There is no shortage of opportunities for me to meet new players and to branch out and network more than I could at my current home.
My Chicago-land community is actually the only real downside to me moving out to Portland. There is so much upside in the overall picture, it’s insane. I’ve also lived in DeKalb my entire life (#woof), and this is the best time in my life to make this change. But that is not what I want to focus on.
So I’m left not necessarily with a decision to make (to leave or to stay), but really with an impossible scenario of leaving this corn-covered flat-land without a hole in my psyche, a hole in my heart. Are there infinite ways for me to stay in contact with all of my Ultimate friends? Absolutely. I won’t shy away from using them most every day. Is there a possibility that I will be seeing some of these people for the last time in months, years, or, heaven-forbid, in my life? Absolutely. And that’s what really scares me.
This probably doesn’t come as a shock, but yes: I am going to make the move to Portland this coming post-holiday season.
Beyond my own personal social shortcomings, maybe this isn’t as much of an issue for other people. At the end of the day, I am taking an incredible move forward, and it is in all of my best interests.
But I will never stop glancing over my shoulder, remembering where I came from, where I fell in love with the sport/lifestyle, and where so many wonderful people are. My (Ultimate) home will always be DeKalb, NIU, Chicago.
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If you’re still with me, thanks for reading. I was hoping to ask you a couple questions. I’d love it if you gave it a thought and a response:
What are your thoughts on leaving such a part of your life behind?
Do you have any similar experiences? Advice?
How important is your Ultimate community to you?
Not A Handler 